Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Holiday Color

There are a lot of things I love about Bernice’s mom, Charmaine. She cleans our house, makes dinner every night and is constantly saying stuff that’s unintentionally hilarious. For instance, this weekend we taught her how to play Rock Band and at one point she referred to the various levels as, “Hard, Medium and Weak.”

You want to play Rock Band on the “Easy” level? Not at our house, you weak piece of shit.

But the very best thing about Charmaine (even better than her chicken curry) is that she’s a hair stylist. And not just any old hair stylist. The best hair stylist on the planet. So instead of driving to Scottsdale and spending an afternoon in a salon full of collagen-injected bimbos slinging glitter purses, I spent my Labor Day getting my hair cut and colored in the comfort of my own home, cocktail in hand, for free.

I know, I know. It was Labor Day, so it should have been a day of rest. But before you start feeling bad for Charmaine, just remember she’s retired, so technically every day is Labor Day for her. Also, she’s South African so she doesn’t really know what Labor Day is. If she assumes Labor Day means you should be laboring, who am I to argue?

Seriously though, I love you, Charzie. You’re a genius. Stay as long as you’d like.

Which reminds me, what’s for dinner?

Jenny

3 comments:

  1. I'd be a little suspicious of putting anything on my hair that requires the person applying it to wear rubber gloves, and not just any rubber gloves, but those heavy thingies that look like they are nuclear proof. And are you wearing a lead vest? What's in that stuff anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i love your glass...

    ReplyDelete
  3. My glass rules. Go Cards! And no, it's not a lead vest. But my skin now glows in the dark so maybe it should have been.

    ReplyDelete