We’re the kind of twins who are always together. We finish each other’s sentences. We finish each other’s drinks. Sometimes we do both at the same time, which occasionally comes out garbled.
It all started in the womb. For eight and a half months we were intertwined. Then one day, Shelly left. Our first thoughts were, “Blessed solitude!” Immediately followed by, “This isn’t going to work.” Six minutes later we were reunited. All was right with the world.
Over the years, we’ve tried to live apart. But it never really sticks. The past decade has gone something like this:
· Jenny moves to Arizona and rents an apartment.
· Shelly moves to Arizona and rents an apartment in the same complex.
· Jenny decides to buy a house.
· Shelly decides to buy a house as close to Jenny as possible.
· The houses close on the same day. They’re across the street from each other.
· Jenny sells her house, buys a new one and moves in with Shelly while she remodels it.
· Jenny moves into her new house. Shelly buys a house a half-mile away.
· Shelly moves to Texas. Ironically, she rents her house to a pair of twins named Jen and Shel.
· Shelly moves back to Arizona and lives with Jenny.
· Shelly moves to Ohio. Jenny files for divorce and moves into Shelly’s house—right after she kicks the imposter twins out.
· Shelly moves back to Arizona and lives in her own house with Jenny.
· Jenny moves to Mesa.
· Jenny hates Mesa and moves back in with Shelly.
And that brings us to the Present. Will the trend continue? Who knows. More importantly, who cares? We’ll always be together. As if bound by the world’s longest umbilical cord. And that’s just how we like it.
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